


The Next Step

by Star_Jelly



Series: The Trans Alchemist [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Other, Recovery, Surgery, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, top surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24759877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Jelly/pseuds/Star_Jelly
Summary: Edward gets some good news from Alphonse and prepares to take the next step in his transition
Series: The Trans Alchemist [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790563
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	1. A Happy Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Had this on the back burner for a while, really like this concept and hope to add more to it eventually

Edward fell backwards onto his bed, groaning softly. Binding had been a little more rough on him today, his back was killing him. But he didn’t want to take it off, not just yet; he wanted the illusion of a flat chest to stay with him a little longer. It was one of the few things that made him feel right in his body.  
He could admit that he was lucky he was where he was now; not only was he able to start his transition early on, but he had been able to get the military to pay for it because it was technically a medical expense. He hated having to tell Mustang, he wanted as few people to know as possible, but it was the only way he could get his treatment, at least without burning a hole into Winry’s pocket. And he had been on puberty blockers and testosterone injections for almost a year now. All in all, he should be happy to be where he was, right?  
It’s not that he wasn’t happy to be where he was, he really was. But he felt as long as his body looked the way it did, he could never really be himself. It was a looming reminder that he wasn’t really where he wanted to be. And he wanted that to change as soon as possible. But with military missions always keeping him and his brother busy and him getting their bodies back taking top priority in his life, he was just never able to get around to it. For now, it would just have to remain a distant daydream, something he would have to do once all this was over.  
His thoughts were impeded when Alphonse stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him before speaking.  
“Are you still wearing your binder?”  
Ed grunted in response, not moving.  
“Brother.”  
“Just gimme another minute.”  
“Brother.”  
Another frustrated grunt from the occupied bed.  
“I know that it makes you feel better, but you know you can’t leave it on for longer than you’re supposed to, and you’ve already been wearing it all day. You remember what happened last time you wore it for too long?”  
“I remember, alright?” He snapped.  
There was silence between the two for a minute.  
Edward sighed, sitting up slowly. “I’m sorry, ok? Today’s just been rough for me.”  
“I know. I know what this does to you. And it’s not like I can’t handle you snapping at me, I’ve already gotten used to your mood swings.”  
Ed let out a soft chuckle before his face fell again. He put a hand on his collar, gripping the binder.  
“I wish I could keep this thing on forever. At this rate, anything that would give me a flat chest would be worth it.”  
“Well, you know, now you won’t have to deal with it much longer.”  
Furrowing his brows, Ed looked up to see his brother fidgeting where he stood.  
He knew that reaction, he’d seen it before; Al was excited.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Edward...I booked a consultation. We’re halfway there.”  
He froze, momentarily not comprehending.  
“A consultation...you mean like?”  
Al nodded energetically.  
“Al, don’t mess with me, are you serious?”  
Another nod.  
“You’re really serious?!”  
Another nod.  
“Oh my god, shut up! Oh my god!”  
He fell backwards into the bed, laughing loudly, damn near hysterical.  
“Holy shit! It’s happening, it’s finally happening! Are you serious?!”  
“Why would I joke about something like this? Of course I’m serious!”  
“Oh my god! Holy shit!” He dissolved into laughter once more.  
“It’s a month from now. I booked it in Resembool so we can stay with Winry until you’re healed. We both figured it’d be best since they’re family and Winry knows a little bit about medical things. And Mustang says you won’t be going on any military missions for at least a few months so you can recover.”  
Edward sat upright, breathless from laughing so hard. Alphonse could see he had tears in his eyes.  
“I just can’t believe it, it’s finally happening.” He put a hand flat against his chest. “Soon I won’t have to wear this stupid thing anymore.”  
Al sat on the bed opposite him. “You’ll be able to move around and breathe easier when you fight.”  
“No more having to plan my day around binder breaks.”  
“No more rough summers having to deal with it.”  
“When you get your body back, we can go swimming together.”  
There was a brief pause before Al responded. “I think I’d like that a lot.”  
“Well considering this, we’re one step closer to it.”  
He sighed contentedly, stretching out on the bed.  
“Just one month until the consultation. One month until everything changes.”


	2. One Step Closer

One month later, Ed and Al were up early preparing for the consultation. But Ed was quieter than usual today; granted it was early so he could just be tired, but he hadn’t been able to contain his excitement for a month leading up to this, and now the day of he looked so stiff and rigid.   
“Brother, is something wrong?”  
Ed paused in the middle of putting on his shirt, caught off guard. “It’s nothing Al, I’m ok.”  
“Brother.”  
Edward huffed, pulling the shirt the rest of the way on. “I’m nervous, ok? This consultation could make or break my transition.”  
“That’s not true Ed—“  
“Yes it is Al! If I don’t get the ‘ok’, I’m gonna have to wait who knows how long for that! It could be months or even years, but either way it sets me back to where I started.”  
He let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, putting his head in his hands and pulling his hair back.   
“I’ll just stuck in complacency until someone thinks I’m ready.”  
He sat there for a moment, silent and holding that position, before sighing again and letting his hands fall heavy against his lap.  
“I can’t go through that again Al, I just can’t.”  
The room was silent momentarily before being filled the clunking sound of metal against wood as Alphonse stepped towards Ed, crouching in front of him and putting a hand on his shoulder   
“I can’t say that I understand how frustrating this is for you Ed, because I don’t, and you know that. But when I said that I would help you with this, I meant with all of it. If it doesn’t work out with this doctor, we’ll figure out where to go from there. And I know it’s frustrating to keep getting denied the chance to authentically be yourself, but know this: I won’t stop until you have the chance to be happy and completely you.”   
Ed still had his head pointed at his lap, hidden by his hair, but from behind it, Alphonse heard a quiet sniffle. Carefully, he pulled the hair back with his large armor hands to reveal his brother’s tear stained face.   
“It’ll be ok, Ed. I promise.”  
Ed sniffled, loud and ugly, before cramming the heel of his palm into his eye, trying quickly and rather aggressively to dry his tears.  
“Stupid mood swings.” He added with a slight chuckle. Al chuckled with him, before standing up.  
“Hurry up and finish getting ready. If we miss the train, we won’t get to the appointment in time.”

He got approved.  
He actually got approved.  
He was ready. It was happening. It was finally happening.  
Ed practically ran out of the building, laughing and whooping the whole way, Al struggling to keep up but sharing his enthusiasm.  
Edward’s excitement continued on the way to the Rockbell’s. He could hardly sit still the entire train ride there.   
When they got there and told them the news, Winry got so excited she screamed, picking Edward up and spinning him around in a tight hug. Her and Pinako both agreed that a celebration was in order while the boys were still staying with them. And the whole time they were, Ed couldn’t stop thinking about it:  
Only a few more months until he could go in for top surgery, until he could start living authentically, until he could finally be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the whole “character-not-wanting-to-talk-about-something-followed-by-another-character-saying-“you can talk to me, it’s ok”-leading-to-said-character-opening-up” thing has appeared in a lot of my fics, am I the only one that thinks that? It’s basically my brand at this point


	3. The Night Before

A few months had passed and Ed and Al were now back in Resembool to stay with the Rockbell’s before and after the surgery. Everything had been set up for the weeks that would follow, with everyone there—Winry in particular—reading up on caring for someone recovering from top surgery to care for him afterwards.   
But Al could tell as the surgery date got closer, Ed was getting nervous. He wasn’t acting as excited as he had been in the months prior, and though he hid it well, Al could see it. And he needed to figure out what was wrong. 

The night before the surgery—or rather the early morning of—Al had woken up to see that Edward wasn’t in the room they shared. Curious, he left the room to find him sitting on the couch, hunched forward and staring at his lap.  
“Brother? What are you doing up so early?”  
“Couldn’t sleep.”  
Al sat down next to him. “Are you nervous? I know you hate anything medical, but after you’re under anesthesia it won’t be so bad.”   
“It’s not just that. I’m worried about how it will turn out.”  
He took a deep breath, shifting where he sat.   
“I know everything will probably be fine, but it doesn’t make it any less scary. What if something goes wrong? What if my chest gets messed up? What if I—?”  
With a sigh, he hung his head.  
“What if all this was for nothing?”  
Al paused, unsure of what to say. Yes, while this was very unlikely and the doctor that would be performing his surgery had done it before and gotten great results, but he understood why his brother would be nervous.   
“I understand why you’re worried. Botched surgery is always a possibility. But this doctor has only gotten good results, so the likelihood of that happening is really small. And you know if it were any different, you would’ve found out and you wouldn’t even think about going to this doctor.”   
Ed hadn’t moved from his position.  
“And in regards to everything else, you’ve got us to help you through it. I’m gonna be with you tomorrow for the whole thing.”  
Ed paused before slumping against Al’s side with a ‘thunk’. Al wrapped his arm around him.  
“You’re gonna be alright, Ed, everything’s gonna be alright.” 

Alphonse was there for the whole morning of the surgery, waking up with Edward before the sun had even come up, arriving with him at the hospital, sitting with him in his room after he had changed into the hospital gown, trying his best to calm him down because he could tell he was anxious. Thankfully the doctors understood Ed’s nerves and even let his brother wait with him while they sedated him. And as they wheeled Ed into the operating room, Al sat there, doing his best to calm his own nerves and reminding himself that Ed would come out of this surgery a happier person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this chapter was ass. I rushed it so bad and I feel like I made Ed and al seem too close and made it weird and uugggghh


	4. The Big Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A toast to the first chapter fic I’ve ever finished! And don’t worry, I plan to finish the other ones, this is just my first.  
> I really liked writing this fic, and I had fun writing this chapter and imagining how recovery with Edward would be, especially with how anxious and squeamish he is to anything medical

The surgery went well.   
Al and Winry let out the biggest sigh of relief when the doctor gave them the news, thanking whatever vague higher power was listening. To be fair, they both knew the likelihood of something going wrong was highly unlikely, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a relief to know that Ed was ok.  
That feeling carried over when Al went to visit Ed in his hospital room—Winry went out to by him flowers. Maybe a little cliche, but she wasn’t sure what else to give him. Alphonse couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of worry at the sight of him, sleepy and out of it in his compression vest, but he knew that this was normal and the anesthetic was still wearing off.   
“Hey, brother.”  
“Mmmmff.”   
Edward’s head rolled slightly, trying to figure out what was going on in his sleepy state.  
“D...Did I do it?”  
“Yeah, you did it, you did great.”  
“Yeeaaaahh.” Edward smiled lazily.  
Al sat down beside the hospital bed. “Are you sore?”  
“Mm-mm.”  
“That’s good.”   
“Mmhmmm.”  
“Hey Ed? Winry said that when you can eat like normal again, she’d make you an apple pie.”  
“Oh, hell yeeaah.”  
Al snorted.  
“I’m happy it went well, brother. You’re gonna be so happy when the bandages come off.”  
“Mmhmmm.”

The rest of that day wasn’t very eventful; the trio sitting together, Winry and Al helping Ed eat and drink water after a while of him waking up.   
Although, when Winry came back to deliver flowers, Ed had quite the reaction, mumbling not-too-quietly about her being the prettiest girl he’d ever seen—no, the prettiest girl in the world. Winry blushed, but her and Al couldn’t stop laughing, while Ed couldn’t figure out why.  
After they’d brought Ed home, things went by as normally as they could. Ed was sore and pretty unhappy about being bedridden and unable to do basically anything by himself. He’d been fidgety nonstop since he’d come home. He’d also been pretty embarrassed about not being able to bathe himself—thankfully Al did that, careful not to get his seal wet, and Winry washed his hair, he’d die if it’d had to be the other way around. When he could eat normally again, Pinako made him stew and, as promised, Winry made him an apple pie. She’d also been the one to empty his drains given her medical knowledge, which Ed had been anxious about. She supposed she should’ve expected that, but the fact that he continuously tried to run away every time she tried to empty them definitely didn’t do her any favors, especially with how anxious she was that he’d open up his scars on accident. Other than that, it was mostly just Edward resting and the other three going about their days.  
After they’d brought Ed home, Al had a great time telling Ed what he’d said to Winry while he was still under anesthesia, and was left a snickering mess watching his brother freak out and his face turn ten different shades of red.  
The only hiccup that came during his recovery was them getting an unexpected visitor; apparently someone had let Ed’s condition slip around Armstrong and he reacted, well, how he normally does. Thankfully Winry was there to stop him hugging Ed for fear of him popping a stitch. 

Finally, a few weeks later, the day had come. The big reveal.   
He’d been a complete anxious mess when the doctor took out his drains, but his reaction when he finally saw the results was so worth it.   
He had a look of complete awe on his face as he stared at his reflection, carefully running a finger over the inverted T’s that decorated his chest. And none of them were expecting him to burst into tears.   
Winry ran over and gave him a gentle hug, careful to not hurt him because he was still a little sensitive, Pinako and Al not far behind. He just kept whimpering “Happy tears, I promise.” And none of them could be happier, knowing that he was finally comfortable in his own skin. Edward could finally look in the mirror and see himself.


End file.
